The Commonwealth of Virginia Stands For Gay Marriage



On Thursday, February 13, 2004, a federal judge declared unconstitutional the Commonwealth’s ban on same-sex marriage, making it the most recent state in the union to embrace and take a clear stand for marriage equality.

So I congratulate the Commonwealth for this important step, and I hope more states can follow suit.

As I respect everyone’s view on this matter, I do strongly believe that marriage is between two people who love each other, not between a man and a woman as the religious folks want to make believe.

Gender has nothing to do with marriage, which is simply a matter of the heart.

Gender matters only when procreation comes into play as, biologically speaking, there need to be a male and a female for reproduction to take place. But when it comes to marriage, it is more about love than gender.

People get married because of love, not because they want babies. So they don’t get married for procreation purposes. In fact, not all married heterosexual couples want kids. So the main purpose of marriage is to make both individuals feel loved, not to procreate.

I am a proponent of same-sex marriage just like I am a proponent of interracial marriage. I don’t think people should be going around telling other people who to marry. People should marry the person they love regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, creed and religious beliefs. That’s what I believe.


We were not born to be married in order to be happy. We came to this world alone, alone we shall leave. So marriage is nothing more than a social obligation; it is not a life fulfillment. In other words, you don’t get married to live a happy life. Some people really misconceive the concept of marriage.

We were conceived with the capacity to be living happily alone. Marriage, as I argued before, is a social realization. We do it to be in conformity with the established societal norms. It is a misconstrued idea to believe that you have to be married to be happy. That level of thinking is worrisome.

In my opinion, marriage brings more stress into our lives than anything else, and reason being is that quite often we allow our happiness in the marriage to be placed in part in someone else’s hands -our husband’s or our wife’s. I have heard some women saying: “Without my husband, I don’t think I will be able to live.” That’s scary! That’s allowing someone other than yourself to have a too strong of a hold on your life.

Like most things in life, if not everything in life, marriage is a gamble. If you are lucky enough, you will hit the jackpot of a successful and happy marriage. But do not make it seem as though your husband or wife is the essence of your life. Don’t get caught in that level of reasoning.

Like someone had said before, the idea that marriage is a lifelong legal contract is preposterous. It should be like a lease, which should be renewed as you go along. When the lease is expired, when the lease is no longer valid, the decision whether to renew it or not would depend on many variables.

Some people choose to stay married, in spite of all the tribulations, humiliations and abuses they have been victim of mainly because they cannot begin to imagine living life outside their marriage; they express a sense of worthlessness without that person in their lives. But if they could, they would leave because they are not happy.

The decision to leave a marriage of so many years is not a joke. People are afraid of the unknown. Because they cannot see beyond the brick walls of their marriage, they are afraid to leave. That’s a serious decision for any one person to make.

Al and Tipper Gore, after being married for 40 years, have decided to be separated from each other; they have decided to kiss their marriage goodbye. Some think of the separation as devastating, I think of it differently. I do believe that their concerted and talked and thought through decision to go their separate ways is the best decision they could have made, and I am sure they are happy about it. They were emotionally separated years ago. It is just that it was not made the press. They were constrained to stay in the marriage only to please a society that does not really give a damn about them.

So the point I am trying to make in this piece is that I encourage anybody who wants to be married to do so because, in terms of human relations, it is good to know that you are loved. But if it is not producing the expected results, if it is revealing to be a bag of stress, if it is not what you thought it was going to be, if it is or has become a pain in the rectum, do as the Gores did -get out of it (regardless how long you’ve been married) before it takes your life away. Remember, stress is a silent killer. It will sneak on and kill you silently.


We cannot change society’s sentiments or perceptions of women having kids out of wedlock. Yes, it is not nice and kind for any woman to be looked down upon just because she has kids outside the realm of marriage. But what can you do? You cannot change that. What you can change, however, is your approach to courtship and sex.

Sex ought to be a very serious matter, something that must not be taken lightly. Why having sex with a man who does not see you good enough to be his wife? Please tell me. And when things get complicated and twisted, because a child comes to be added to the equation, you want to hate the man for not wanting to be in your life. You don’t mother his child as a way to keep him or pressure him to marry you. Some women do that, and I think it is very illogical.  

I am not here to be telling you to not be having premarital sex. In fact, you should already know where I stand on that. I encourage you to have responsible premarital sex. If you choose to abstain from having sex until you get married, that’s your choice, and no one should make you feel asocial or like some sort of a strange creature. But if you choose to have casual sex with someone you are not married to, be responsible about it. Enjoy the sexual pleasure there is to enjoy with your sense of reason and responsibility, meaning to do so with someone with the potentials and character to be your husband.

Some of you may argue that marriage is not for you. I can understand that, especially with women these days becoming more independent than ever before. However, from a socio-economic perspective, it is more of an asset or investment to be and stay married than it is a liability, especially when you marry a supportive and responsible man. It is not sweet to be working making ends meet. It is not sweet to be stressing yourself over where the money for next month rent is coming from. Keep in mind that 1 income + 1 income = 2 incomes, not zero income.

From a social perspective, it does elevate the image of the woman when she is married. Society looks at you differently. Yes, I understand you are not living your life for people, but that’s the way it is. Can you change that? Well, if you can, go right ahead make it happen. And when/if you do, please do inform me so I could help you spread the word.

Finally, we have too many single mothers out there struggling living egregiously. That is happening because of a choice they had made, for (for the most part) the man/men did not tie their hands and rape them. They had consensual sex with them. Hear me out, ladies: It is not smart to be sleeping with any man just because he has a penis for you to explore. Just know that actions have consequences. Have sex with someone who can be a plus to your life, not a burdensome liability. Use your brain to figure out what tends to work for YOU. No one should tell you how to live your life. However, when things go wrong, your problems, whether you want to agree with it or not, will become other people’s issues. So enjoy your sex life in a smart, responsible and safe manner.


Why do people think that premarital sex, which they call fornication, is a sin? This to me is foolishness. Sex is a need just like the need to be fed when hunger strikes. Do you commit a sin for satiating your thirst and hunger, when you are thirsty and hungry? I don’t think so.

The people making this foolish argument want you to marry the person before you could engage in sexual activities with them. Are they really serious? Wait a minute!!! Which marriage are they talking about –the natural marriage of the hearts, which no one can see when taken place (not even the two involved individuals) or the government’s issuance of this piece of paper with the header that reads “marriage certificate?” I am anxious to find out which marriage they are talking about.

We were born with our own sex engine, which, when cranked, has to produce mechanical work. The mechanism put in place to make possible the cranking of that engine is beyond our control. A one-year-old boy’s engine, for instance, could be cranked, and he would not have any knowledge as to what has caused that to happen.

In my view, there is no sin in premarital sex; it is all a scam. We use the sin concept to scare people out in order to establish some degree of order in society. Go ahead enjoy your sex life as much as you can. Just be smart and careful in so doing just like you would if you were to operate a motor vehicle. If the Almighty did not want you to produce mechanical work with that great piece of engine, he would have not blessed you with it in the first place. He did not give it to you as ornament to beautify your body; He gave it to you so you could put mileage on it. lol 😀