We cannot change society’s sentiments or perceptions of women having kids out of wedlock. Yes, it is not nice and kind for any woman to be looked down upon just because she has kids outside the realm of marriage. But what can you do? You cannot change that. What you can change, however, is your approach to courtship and sex.

Sex ought to be a very serious matter, something that must not be taken lightly. Why having sex with a man who does not see you good enough to be his wife? Please tell me. And when things get complicated and twisted, because a child comes to be added to the equation, you want to hate the man for not wanting to be in your life. You don’t mother his child as a way to keep him or pressure him to marry you. Some women do that, and I think it is very illogical.  

I am not here to be telling you to not be having premarital sex. In fact, you should already know where I stand on that. I encourage you to have responsible premarital sex. If you choose to abstain from having sex until you get married, that’s your choice, and no one should make you feel asocial or like some sort of a strange creature. But if you choose to have casual sex with someone you are not married to, be responsible about it. Enjoy the sexual pleasure there is to enjoy with your sense of reason and responsibility, meaning to do so with someone with the potentials and character to be your husband.

Some of you may argue that marriage is not for you. I can understand that, especially with women these days becoming more independent than ever before. However, from a socio-economic perspective, it is more of an asset or investment to be and stay married than it is a liability, especially when you marry a supportive and responsible man. It is not sweet to be working making ends meet. It is not sweet to be stressing yourself over where the money for next month rent is coming from. Keep in mind that 1 income + 1 income = 2 incomes, not zero income.

From a social perspective, it does elevate the image of the woman when she is married. Society looks at you differently. Yes, I understand you are not living your life for people, but that’s the way it is. Can you change that? Well, if you can, go right ahead make it happen. And when/if you do, please do inform me so I could help you spread the word.

Finally, we have too many single mothers out there struggling living egregiously. That is happening because of a choice they had made, for (for the most part) the man/men did not tie their hands and rape them. They had consensual sex with them. Hear me out, ladies: It is not smart to be sleeping with any man just because he has a penis for you to explore. Just know that actions have consequences. Have sex with someone who can be a plus to your life, not a burdensome liability. Use your brain to figure out what tends to work for YOU. No one should tell you how to live your life. However, when things go wrong, your problems, whether you want to agree with it or not, will become other people’s issues. So enjoy your sex life in a smart, responsible and safe manner.


  1. I just posted something similar on…well not really..but I am just going to paste it here

    I no longer advocate for protected sex
    Why you asked???

    Well First of all because EVERY BIRTH CONTROL has some serious side effect…I know I have been on all of them . And almost all women who are on birth control have very low self what’s the ain’t gonna wanna have sex anyways.

    Second condom breaks…At least that is what I have heard (i don’t know how it can, cause even the cheapest condoms are made to withstand certain pressure,). Well let’s keep it REAL condoms are uncomfortable, dry… damn it! IT FEELS GOOD when you can feel the skin and not some greasy plastic inside of you

    Third if you don’t do the birth control, the condom things then you are FORCE not to get involve in casual sex, you try to get the person you are dating better, practice self control, make sure it is a relationship worth having before giving your body to that person.

    So because of these reasons I no longer advocate protected sex…you want to get your freak on all worry…get yourself a good man/woman, work on your relationship, stay faithful to one another…and if you ain’t trying to have no babies..try the pull out method like hubby and I do hey! it’s been working for the past 3 years lol

    O.K I would not say this to any young kids out there who already think they are invisible and too cute to catch an unwanted stds or unwanted pregnancies..but between you and I…I am just keeping it real, the best and safest sex you can have is way God has intented for it be ONE MAN, ONE WOMAN…NAKED dans le jardin epi that’s 7.

  2. Please disregard the common above and practice dsafe sex tande. It was just a women runting about issues with birth control..althought the very last part is true..please mete kapot, sex ain’t worth dying for

  3. Lol@ Beaute! I was about to say! Met kapot ou fini, jan be bagay bon, why buy the cow before tasting its milk. Lol! If you are going to do it, respect and protect yourself epi fel matin midi e soi

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