A CONVERSATION ABOUT SEX FOR GROWN-UPS

Sex is a major component in determining one’s level of happiness with life. Many aspects, such as socioeconomics and psychosociology of sex, can negatively impinge on one’s sexual life.

In Haiti, for example, one (male or female) could be in their mid or late 20’s and never have to experience the beauty of sex. And socioeconomics, determining the level of privacy a person can have, has a lot to do with that.

More than likely, if your parents are not financially fortunate enough to have the luxury of possessing a sizeable house, where you and your siblings can have their own rooms and all, you may end up having to share a room with four or six siblings, sometimes indiscriminately of gender and age. In such environment, the probability that you have this room all for yourself to spend quality time with your partner is very negligible to the point of nonexistent.

Another aspect of the issue is the psychosociology of sex. Most of us Haitians don’t look at sex as a need to be satiated; we see it as an insulting, derogatory and shameful act. In Haiti, having sex in your parents’ house (knowing that there are people around) is a NO-NO. That cannot happen. It is viewed by most as disrespectful and a violation to the rules of the household. It is unacceptable by all standards for one to even be with their partner in their own room and have the door shut.

Here, in the US, it is not the same. Privacy in the American society is a big concept. Parents start instilling that value in their kids as early as 2 or 3 years old. And the reason for that is because of socioeconomics, giving them the financial easiness to afford such lifestyle.

Also, here in the US, once you turn 18, you don’t have to live at your parents’ house. They would have to beg you to stay. You can have a job and enjoy the privacy of your own place, move out and stay in a college dormitory, or leave your parents’ house to go to the military. You have so many options to choose from, it’s not even funny.

In this country, they have a more liberal and open-minded attitude towards sex than we Haitians do. Here, sex is being looked at as a need. And at 13, 14, or 16, some parents won’t mind if they are to find out that their sons or daughters have been having sex. They will make sure they teach or remind the kids to always protect themselves. Some of them, the more open-minded and liberal ones, not only will they be concerned if they know that at a certain age their sons and/or daughters don’t be having sex, they will even buy them condoms to use when or in case they are having sex.

Unlike in the US, in Haiti, privacy is a matter of luxury, which only the very fortunate few can afford. Unless they can afford a hotel room to have some privacy with a mate, which is very unlikely, or they have a friend that can make his/her bachelor setting or dwelling available to them, don’t be surprised to find out that they are in their mid or late 20’s or even 30’s and have never had sex.

Between the Haitian lifestyle and that of the Americans, I would not claim that one is better than the other. BUT, for the sake of enjoying the beauty of privacy, if most Haitians were asked to choose one that is more appealing and suitable to them, I am sure they would settle for the American way.

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4 comments on “A CONVERSATION ABOUT SEX FOR GROWN-UPS

    • I really like this, but young Haitians, boys and girls now are finding ways to have sex; as a parent the Haitian lifestyle would be more appealing but as a younger girl or boy the American one would be. As a person that lived both Im thankful to the Haitian way.

  1. What?! Ok I’m still reeling over “In Haiti, for example, one (male or female) could be in their mid or late 20′s and never have to experience the beauty of sex. And socioeconomics, determining the level of privacy a person can have, has a lot to do with that.” Once again Emann, your assumptions/perceptions about Haiti are off. SEX is a major problem in Haiti. The poorest people, kids included are having sex that falls (mostly) in one of these four categories: 1-express their emotions (frustrations, happiness, sadness, love) 2-It has become a (free) pastime 3-It’s a trading/bargaining chip and a business 4-RAPE. Even in one-room houses where 9 people sleep on the floor they are having sex. So the socio-economic and privacy factors don’t really apply in Haiti, except that maybe the poorer they are the more likely they are to have more kids.

    I agree on all your points about privacy EXCEPT to say that it does not stop Haitians from having sex and that it would have been nice and unbiased if you’d also pointed out that while in Haiti, certain households may lack privacy, there is still a communal sense of “neighborhood” and “family” that is lacking in the U.S.

  2. If Haitians waited to have their own houses/rooms to have sex, there wouldn’t be close to 10 million of us here. I’m not even sure where you came up with the notion that Haitians can’t have sex because the houses are cramped. I mean, are people telling you this? What is this based on?

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