Behind every successful and accomplished woman, there is a strong, successful and accomplished man. By the same token, behind every miserable, trashy, low life, failed woman, there is a man with those same attributes. You cannot move up the life ladder when someone is pulling you down as you are trying to move up, when someone has proven to be a liability to your achievement and  success. That in itself is against nature’s law of traction and gravity, and nature never gets it wrong.

I know some of the socially and financially independent women will come with the usual lame and sorry line “I can do good all by myself; I don’t need a man…” Well, let me say this to these women: as good as you have it or you are doing now, I bet you could have been better off had you had an accomplished and successful man in your life to love you for who you are and support you in everything that you do (like Michele and Barack). Having such a man in your life is more than just an asset; that is a rock for you to build your empire on. Smart and intelligent women don’t use such lame and sorry line.

Michelle Obama, the First Lady of the United States (I am purposely using her as an example because she has come from the same humble beginnings as most of the ladies reading this piece), you can say she is a successful and accomplished woman. In her humbleness, she may not want to see herself as such, but conventional wisdom would agree that she is one successful and accomplished woman.

She has a beautiful family, a successful academic and professional life; she is highly educated; she seems to be happy; and her husband is the leader of the Free World. If that is not accomplishment and success, I don’t know what is. I don’t know one woman who would not wish to be walking in her shoes right now.

She was not born what she has become today. She was not born with a silver, golden or diamond spoon in her mouth. She had made choices (like all of us, good and bad). But she is one smart and intelligent lady. She knows how to score big. So she had made a choice, a smart one at that.

She chose Barack Obama -the son of an immigrant man from Kenya and a White woman from Kansas, a family-oriented, respectful, supportive, loving, caring, highly educated, goal-oriented man -based on the things she values. That’s how you make smart choices. You make smart choices based on substance, not ridiculousness. I bet some of her so-called friends might have not liked him for her because he was not looking flashy and “hip” with a mainstream profile. But she saw a man in him; she saw in him the substantive attributes which her so-called friends were incapable of seeing.  She is a woman of high standards, not one to settle for anything and everything just because it is flashy, bling bling and mainstream.

I am not asking any one woman to be like Michelle Obama, for no one can ever be like her. But I am asking all women to be smart and intelligent, for they all have the capacity to be intelligent and make intelligent choices. They just have to make good use of that intelligence they are so blessed to have.

Being a woman is to have the ability to make choices (good and bad). However, what makes a woman an intelligent woman is being able to capitalize on that ability to make intelligent choices.

The man a woman has in her life is a reflection of her value system, meaning no one can force her to be with a man just for the fun of being with a man. That has got to be her personal choice. However, if she is going to settle with someone, she knows she has got to make that choice worthy of the wait and worthy of the investment.

Being with someone is not a little kid game; that is a serious matter, one not to be taken lightly. Like I have always said, being with someone is a grown people business, for it can make or destroy your life to the point of irreparable. No matter how you would look at it, you are what you choose. And what you choose is a reflection of your value system. So behind every successful and accomplished woman, there is a strong, successful and accomplished man. And behind every miserable, trashy, low life, failed woman, there is a man with those same attributes.