NOT ALWAYS CHEATING IS BAD

No one should condone abuse in relationships -whether it be physical, psychological and/or emotional. Anybody who is in an abusive relationship or marriage MUST leave before the unthinkable occurs. There is no excuse for such behavior.

Now, having said that, some may see cheating as a form of psychological or emotional abuse because it tends to impact the psychological well-being of the person being cheated on. Well, that is, understandably so, a fair argument to make. But not always cheating is bad. Sometimes, it could be the best thing to have happened in a relationship.

Depending on the situation, the act of cheating itself -though deceptive and despicable -should NOT be used as a valid excuse to end a relationship or marriage.

That is why many people admire Hillary Clinton so much for her courage and strong-mindedness. They see in her attributes of a born-leader, who knows how to make the best decisions in times of crisis. She stood against all odds and tribunals of the world to save her marriage with former President Bill Clinton -when the latter had brought shame and deception to their marriage by lying to the world before he admitted having cheated on her with Monica Lewinski.

Unless the person does not really care about you, in this case you have no business being in a relationship or marriage with that person, people do not cheat for the fun of cheating. There is always something that triggers the person to take such a high risk.

Usually, when someone cheats, if you take the time to investigate the cause(s) behind the act, you would find evidence that something is missing in the relationship or marriage. It is not always about the great things that you had done; rather, it could be the basics that you had failed to do causing the person to go outside the boundaries of the relationship or marriage to seek remedy to their dissatisfaction. And if you do not have that level of communication already well-established between you and that person, you may never find out what it is that has been missing.

In Haitian Creole, there is this saying “se chyen ki pa byen manje k mache devant pòt kay moun,” meaning only those dogs that are poorly fed would leave their owners’ places to go look for foods elsewhere. So feed your dog fully and properly, he or she will not feel the need to be roaming outside seeking for self-gratification elsewhere.

Some may argue: “Well, he/she could have just been honest to leave without having to put me through this.” No, the person has never claimed not wanting to be with you, so it would not make any sense to leave you. He/she only wanted that emptiness, which you were incapable of fulfilling, to be fulfilled. That does not mean that the person he/she cheated on you with is better than you. Yes, it is the wrong approach to go about, but a real one at that if we really want to keep it real.

In the case of Arnold Schwazenegger and his wife Maria Shriver, for instance, many people feel for her for the pains and sufferings she has to endure. However, she could be the one at fault. Maybe she is not feeding her dog well enough. Or the worst case scenario, Arnold has a psychological issue that needs to be dealt with.

If a person just cannot stop cheating or has a pattern of documented cheating incidents, maybe that person needs to be psychologically evaluated to determine the underlying causes so necessary steps to help that person could be taken.

When a person cheats, it makes no sense for the person being cheated on to be too quick to walk away. Yes, it is always the first instinctive reaction, but not a sensical and logical one. Together, they should take a moment to evaluate the relationship to see what went wrong and how to fix things.

Cheating is the breaking point in any relationship. Though it is a shameful and despicable act, it could offer the opportunity for the couple to grow. But for that developmental growth to take place, they must assess the state of the relationship or marriage so together they could find ways to treat or cure the problem(s).

Finally, though no one can possibly condone cheating, many agree that it could be exactly what is needed to spice things up, bring some excitement into the relationship or marriage, and get the two individuals involved to pay more attention to and care more about the relationship or marriage. Keep in mind that cheating is a big risk for anyone to take, especially when you really care about the person you are with. So this is not the type of risk people take just for the sake of taking risks. The person accepts to go that far because something is missing and they go out on a mission to find it. Again, feed your dog the way he or she needs to be fed, unless that dog has a mental dilemma, you will not have to worry about him or her cheating on you with someone else. So not always cheating is bad.

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2 comments on “NOT ALWAYS CHEATING IS BAD

  1. Wish it that easy to analyses why cheaters cheat, whether it was pschological or lack of whatever the excuses may be, it is best to communicate your frustration as opposed to hurt, destroy something you worked hard to establish. More power to those that stayed behind their man after they publicaly embarrassing them, but it takes more than just loyalty to keep that trust and relationship going, eventually, it will fail. Just my saying!

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