Politics and courtship are basically the same –winning the approval of an electorate or the heart of a woman. You have got to have a message. Do not embarrass yourself standing before an audience and not having a message to deliver. It is all about articulating that message in such a way to make your constituents or her fall for you. It may sound easy, but it is not. It requires skills –charisma, articulation or delivery style, humor, etiquette or protocol, etc… Those are the types of skills you acquire as you go, and you develop them.
In politics as in courtship, the goal is to win the heart, nothing less and nothing more. GO FOR THE HEART!!
First, you need to know or have a good grasp of the issues she is interested in so that you can make your case that you are the best candidate to make her dreams come true. It is all about telling her what she wants to hear in a futuristic perspective. If you do not know the life issues (her goals, her aspirations, her likes and dislikes, etc…) she is interested in, how can you articulate a winning message? Otherwise, you are setting yourself for failure. You have got to do your homework if you really want to win her vote or her heart.
Just like the American electorate, when it comes to courtship, women don’t think with their brains; they think with their hearts. That’s why you often hear the sayings “love is blind” and “the insanity of love.”
Gore lost the presidency in America to Bush not because the latter was the best and brightest, not because he had the best plan to move the country forward, but rather because he was “likable.” If the people were using their minds as opposed to their hearts, Gore would have been president; the country would have been in a much better shape than it is today.
In politics as in courtship, it is all about the message. But you can have the best message in the book, if you lack the charisma and the delivery style, you will not be as effective of a winner as you should.
Charisma is the skill that enables you to galvanize your audience, to make their jaws drop, to make them go gaga. It is the “too good to be true” phenomenon. You have to figure out how to do that, how to get her attention. That’s where the skill of charisma comes into play. You cannot win this type of emotional battle if you cannot win the heart.
Also, always fight the good battles –the ones that are winnable and worth fighting for. In other words, if you are willing to die for it, fight for it. By the same token, not all battles are worth fighting for. The same goes for women. Not all women are worth going after. Don’t waste your time. Go after the women with the baggage.
Now, I just used a very subjective terminology, and I am not going to define baggage for you. It is a very subjective terminology in that what I consider to be baggage may not be so to you. The best way to put it is to tell you to go after the women that represent your interests and value the things that you value. If education and a great career are the things that you value and she is the embodiment of those elements, go for it.
Well, I am going to end this by saying one thing: put your everything where your passion is. If you are passionate about that woman, that’s your motivation right there. And motivation is the drive that will get you to excel beyond your expectations. Remember, everything starts with having a winning message, which must reflect the woman’s interests and be articulated in a charismatic way. Do not waste your ammunitions and energy chasing worthless birds. Save them for the toughest and most challenging ones. I am out…
Hmm, while you brought up good points and true similarities between political candidates and men vying for a woman’s heart, I disagree with two if your statements. The statement I applaud is listed last.
1)”Just like the American electorate, when it comes to courtship, women don’t think with their brains; they think with their hearts.”
I take a long time going over possibilities in my head, thinking with my brain, debating pros and cons before entering a relationship. Of course feelings are important, but they are not all every women consider when entering a relationship or choosing a partner. You have to know when someone’s just not a good match for you, even when you have feelings for them.
2)You also state that the guy just needs to tell the woman what she wants to hear. “It is all about telling her what she wants to hear in a futuristic perspective.” If those things that you are saying, you really believe in carrying through then great, but that’s bad advice to follow when entering a relationship IF you are just saying those things in order to win her heart.
Candidates who lie and tell the voters what they want to hear are easier to get away with it because once elected they have to serve their term, whether voters are pissed or not. In a relationship, there is no mandate. If you tell a woman (or at least this woman) what she wants to hear, but don’t really have certain of the same interest or make your actions mirror your previous declarations, the relationship won’t last long and if it does, it will never maximize to its full potential because it’s not based on honesty.
3) “The best way to put it is to tell you to go after the women that represent your interests and value the things that you value. If education and a great career are the things that you value and she is the embodiment of those elements, go for it.” RIGHT ON! I agree with everything stated in that passage and everything that follows it. As far as I’m concerned that’s the most honest part of this entire piece.
SM, first, let me thank you for taking the time to formulate your reactions to some of the points stated in the piece. You did a great job in arguing your points.
Now, I disagree with your rebuttals. When the woman is so passionate about the man, very often, her emotions tend to overshadow her sense of reason. That’s why we have yet to bury the line “love is blind.” It is because of that. She has the time to weigh and balance the pros and cons only when she is not really passionate about him. When she does, she is traveling in Lala land.
Indeed, I said: “It is all about telling [the woman] what she wants to hear in a futuristic perspective.” That’s not lying and dishonesty. The man is not saying these things just for the fun of saying them. He is trying to make an impression while keeping it honest. That’s called putting emphasis on the positive attributes while diming down the less rosy ones. We do that all the time, especially when we are selling ourselves in a resume to an employer for a job we are interested in. I have never seen a resume with a negative line about a contender.
“Candidates who lie and tell the voters what they want to hear are easier to get away with it because once elected they have to serve their term, whether voters are pissed or not.”
A man doesn’t have to lie to a woman to make an impression. He can always keep it honest while highlighting the rosy attributes about himself. Lying and deceitfulness are NOT warranted, for trust is everything that sustains a relationship. The relationship dies when there is no trust to sustain it.
Not true, I realized I was passionate about a man but took my time in making a decision because I wanted to make the right decision for the both of us. In the past, I was passionate about my ex but broke it off because I realized our personalities and lifestyles were not bringing out the best of each other. Not all women lose all reason when in love, just like not all men do.
Wow! What a bowl of bologne, what you wrote make no sense and no sense at all. As a female who have been through the BS you wrote, when it all said and then and realized the rhetoric was just that, I moved on. Relationship is not business nor old plan political views, the terms is long term not short. For one to go out their way to spoon fed someone what they want to hear is dubious at best, usually that person is hated, and get cut loose at the end.
If what you are trying to say is when courting someone you see a future with(share common commonality, values and etc) you should be sincere and tell that person how you truly feels and market yourself to the point of winning her heart, I would agree. Other than that, tout sa ki ekri la se bri sapat!